This Bitch Contains Spoilers

I've been playing a whole bunch of Metroid Prime recently. I feel like I am somewhat near the end of the game, but I have hit what seems to be a little bit of a wall- and by "wall", I mean "huge fucking monster with fucking all this shit that he keeps using to fucking kill me over and over." I am currently up to the Omega Pirate fight in Metroid Prime, and it really is such a damn good boss fight. It got me thinking about other memorable bosses I've had to slay in the past 19 years, and I just felt like writing about some of my favorite, or least favorite ones.

Omega Pirate - Metroid Prime

Jesus Christ this boss had been wrecking my shit. Basically what happens is Samus enters a chamber with a giant fucking monster sealed inside. The monster appears to be locked inside a pod, but evidently, the real breakthrough in locking technology didn't come until well after these science experiments were stored away. So, of course, the monster sees Samus and breaks out of her prison with the purpose of becoming Samus' best friend and falling in love with her and making sure no harm ever befalls her for the rest of her days. So Ms. Omega Pirate starts fucking attacking you. She has 4 weak spots encased in ice and they all must be struck in order to weaken her. So you shoot some missiles at her icy limbs while dodging the shock waves emitted from her giant ground-pounding fists of doom BUT these attacks must be timed properly or else they will be absorbed by Omega Pirate. Once her limbs are annihilated, she will send in some of her subordinate bitches to distract you from attacking her while she becomes invisible and attempts to regain her health. If you are able to destroy her minions quickly, you will have enough time to strap on your X-ray visor to see the invisible asshole and shoot her in the chest. You gotta do this like, 4 times to beat her, and it's HARD. FUCK.

Deathborn - F-Zero GX

This was literally a race from hell. Captain Falcon basically gets transported to hell in order to race a guy named Deathborn. If Deathborn wins, he will be able to seize the power of light and darkness for himself and destroy the universe. Because that's how it works. So this track is long, there are so many sharp turns, there are bombs all over the track AND even if you manage to survive all of the crazy shit happening on the track, you still have to navigate that shit faster than Deathborn does. I could barely beat this guy on Easy mode; I can't imagine what it is like on Hard. This is one great game, but sometimes it is so unbelievably difficult, and this boss fight doesn't make it any easier.

Andross - Starfox Adventures

So basically after spending an ENTIRE game on foot, out of your arwing, and with a dinosaur at your side, you fight the final boss of this game, Andross, the SAME EXACT way you fight bosses in Starfox 64. Andross claims to be the one responsible for all of the misfortune that has befallen Dinosaur Planet, but he is NEVER mentioned before this fight, not even a little tiny bit. As soon as he appeared on my TV screen, I just screamed "What the hell!". Andross had NOTHING to do with Starfox Adventures, yet at the end of the game, there he is, waiting yet again to be slayed by Starfox and Falco. OH YEAH. Also Falco makes his first appearance in this game during the last boss fight. Apparently before the events of the game unfolded, he bailed to start his own star-team, but I guess it didn't work out(?)  This boss was in such contrast to the rest of the game that it is literally laughable. It's still fun in my opinion, but it is so sloppily done.

Giga Bowser - Super Smash Bros. Melee

Mwahahahahaha Giga Bowser! Event Match 51, everybody. I remember beating this colossal-sized King Koopa in elementary school. I remember my friend telling me that I had to use Jigglypuff's Rest attack in order to win. It wasn't until many years later did I go on to beat Giga Bowser and friends with Marth, Link, and Luigi, in addition to Jigglypuff, but before those days were simpler times and simpler melees. Now, I play this boss over and over just for fun but I used to really struggle with it. This boss isn't really too hard if you're good at Smash Bros., but it sure is fun.

Ganondorf  - Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess

THIS boss. This may be my favorite boss fight in any video game I've played. Finally, after all these 20 years of Zelda do we get a real 1 on 1 sword fight with Ganondorf himself. I wish playing against this boss for fun was more viable. Tedious smaller boss fights between this final fight and the last time you are able to save the game puts about 20 minutes of playing other shit before I get to fight Ganondorf, but if that wasn't the case, I would play this fight everyday, and I am probably not kidding. You get a small arena in the middle of Hyrule field where you and Ganondorf each draw your swords and take turns swinging away and blocking all of the swift strikes dealt. No gimmicks, no waiting for him to expose his weak spot or become dizzy from doing his spinning-attacking or anything, just a straight-up duel. Of course, there is always the option to distract him by casting your fishing rod! The first item of the game comes back with an easter egg so lethal that you can almost save the world with it alone! But if that is not your style, you just lure him in and attempt to knock him about the arena with your master sword, ending the fight by...! Well you'll just have to play the game to find out.

Playground Series 3: Most Overlooked Gamecube Game

Overlooking something. It's like assuming, but makes less of an ass out of everyone involved. It is definitely understandable why this next title would be overlooked. This game may be a little off the beaten trail for a lot of gamers, but it goes to show that if you exclude any genre of game, you will probably miss at least a few great titles. Play every game you can - it doesn't matter if it is the most popular game ever, or completely underground.

Tony Hawk's Underground
did anyone miss the puns?

The Tony Hawk skateboarding games kind of lost their balance towards the end of their 50,000 point tailslide, finishing it up shamefully with Tony Hawk Ride and Tony Hawk's Project 8. It is still uncertain if the successful Skate. games were to blame for the fall of Tony Hawk, or if the games simply plummeted to the ground after trying the nail that famous 900 for the thousandth time. Despite the disappointing end of the Tony Hawk series, there is no doubt that they left a mark on gamers forever. Anyone who has ever played a Tony Hawk game instantly became the witness of the most vulgar humor, strangest Easter eggs, and ridiculous physics, but it is important to know that the game that REALLY cashed in on all of the wacky antics, and really set the Tony Hawk games off in a new direction, was Tony Hawk's Underground.

Tony Hawk's Underground was the 5th installment of the Tony Hawk skateboarding video game series. The original games, Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1-4, spawned your favorite pro skater into a small level where you would have to complete different random goals within a certain amount of time. Once you completed enough goals, you would unlock the following level until you essentially beat every goal, and there was nothing left for you to do in the game. What was so impressive and refreshing about Tony Hawk's Underground (T.H.U.G.) is that it changed up the formula for these errand-boy games forever. T.H.U.G was the first ever Tony Hawk game to ever feature an actual story. Your custom-made skater and your best friend Eric are trying to make it big by becoming pro skaters. You start off the game by skating around your hometown of New Jersey, and you spend the game progressively getting sponsored, making team films, winning amateur and pro skateboarding contests, and of course, watching Bam Margera be a dick. The new concept to the Tony Hawk series, a story, really made the game more enjoyable the same way adding a story to any list of tasks would. The characters are relatable, the antagonist makes you angry, and watching the thrill of your pro-to-be makes you proud to be a player. Suddenly, right before your very eyes, a Tony Hawk skateboarding game becomes an emotional experience.

What I was trying to allude to in the prologue of this post is that the reason why this game is overlooked, is because anyone not interested in skateboarding would never be interested in a skateboarding game. It seems that with all of the shooting games, driving games, action games, why would anyone want to live out a fantasy of skateboarding, instead of one of the aforementioned? Really, you might not, but you should. T.H.U.G. is the perfect place for new fans of the Tony Hawk series to jump onboard. With every addition to the Tony Hawk series, new tricks and features are added. T.H.U.G. is not only the first Hawk game to include a story, but it is the first to include the ability to "get off your board" and walk around on foot AND include the ability to drive cars and busses (this was the only Tony Hawk game that included the ability to drive). T.H.U.G. is the perfect game to get an authentic and modern feel for the Tony Hawk franchise. Some of the older titles might feel a little bit dated at this point in time, some of them being well over 10 years old, and a lot of the newer titles (T.H.U.G. 2 and Tony Hawk's American Wasteland) are better enjoyed after playing different Tony Hawk games first.

The soundtrack and gameplay of this game are both amazing, typical to Tony Hawk titles in the past,
and I won't give any secrets away, but if you plan to play this game, keep an eye out for various references to the greatest Hair Metal band of all time throughout the game. For anyone ignorant in the topic of heavy metal, the references will become more than apparent during the game's final unlockable stage....YEAH IT'S FUCKING GENE SIMMONS.

In conclusion, I understand that it may be very likely that you have overlooked Tony Hawk's Underground, especially if you don't care for skateboarding in real life. That being said, I insist that you try this game. The fact that it is literally less than 2 dollars on amazon, combined with the fact that it is just a great game not only within the Tony Hawk series, but as a stand-alone game gives you not a single excuse to avoid picking up your own copy, and start shredding. This game shines within the Tony hawk series, and as a stand-alone game. Fans of Tony Hawk games will be treated to the best Tony Hawk experience to date, and gamers looking for something new to play will not be hindered by the age of the game, or their disconnection to skateboarding. Play. This. Game.
 http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/B0000A0834/ref=sr_1_1_olp?ie=UTF8&qid=1375039026&sr=8-1&keywords=tony+hawks+underground+gamecube&condition=used