Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga

Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga - Gameboy Advance

The Mario and Luigi titles are a series of RPGs starring the most famous brothers in gaming history. Each entry in the collection features Nintendo's Mario and Luigi teaming up and embarking on a Princess-Peach-saving journey employing a surprisingly rich turn-based battle system, tons of puzzles, and an expansive varying map. This series is still seeing entries to this day, and while asking my close friends what they thought of the latest installment on the 3DS, they informed me that the original was certainly the best. Normally, I don't get much into turn-based combat systems, but fond memories of playing (albeit never finishing) this game as a child had me wondering if there really was something to be said about the original title in this beloved franchise.

You know me- I'm not one to beat around the mustache: Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga is incredible. Not completely without flaw, but still a phenomenally great game.

For an RPG, Superstar Saga is definitely on the short side, taking me, a highly experienced and really good-looking gamer, around 18 hours to complete. The short length ensures that the game doesn't overstay it's welcome, as the main plot seems to end the moment it begins to feel boring. Essentially, the game takes place in a large interconnected world, and the Mario bros. must travel to each town and region to discover new secrets, gain new abilities or talk to new characters all in the effort to thwart Bowser's and new-comer Crackletta's attempt to take over both the Beanbean and Mushroom Kingdom.

On the way from town to town, the Mario Bros. will often be faced with puzzles whose solving of will allow a way forward, or they'll be faced with assortments of different enemies, whose defeating of will grant the way forward. The puzzles are usually solved by utilizing recently acquired abilities, meaning that while puzzles themselves may get old, their solutions stay as fresh as your abilities are. Moreover, the abilities that double as attacks in battle will prevent the battle system from getting old. New abilities are acquired often, constantly maintaining a perfect pace. However, while switching back and forth between each ability to solve more complex puzzles is mostly fun, having to toggle between them all individually by pressing either L or R several times can be frustrating when it is necessary to act quickly.

The main complaint is how the game ends. Without wishing to spoil anything, the last bit of work to be done in the overworld before taking on the final bosses is a large fetch-quest similar to that seen in Zelda: The Wind Waker. The quest actually didn't take as much time as I thought it would, but it still felt like a lame way to extend the length of the story.

With the exception of the game's last few hours, Superstar Saga is exceedingly good. The constant acquisition of new abilities keeps the entry from becoming boring or stalled, while the bright colors and varying aesthetics are strong enough to keep one hooked while the game might otherwise feel like a bit of a grind. Even for someone like me who doesn't normally jump to turn-based combat, Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga is a highly addictive and thoughtfully-crafted RPG that deserves every single sequel it ever got.

Kid Icarus: Uprising - Sorry to keep you waiting!!

Kid Icarus: Uprising - Nintendo 3DS

Kid Icarus: Uprising is a 3rd person shooter / rail shooter released for the Nintendo 3DS back in 2012. Immediately upon launch, the game was met both with ruthless criticism and professional acclaim. 25 years separates this sequel from the franchises' original 1986 installment and as a result, both games are radically different.

But different, in this case, is awesome. Though the NES Kid Icarus took the form of a vertical platformer, featuring our protagonist, Pit, jumping to scroll up and down to complete levels, Kid Icarus: Uprising features Pit soaring through the skies, shooting down soldiers of the Underworld Army, and using Mega Lasers, explosions, and swords to defeat famous mythological bosses over the course of 25 levels. The game employs fully 3D models, has bright colors, a consistent frame-rate, impressively adjustable difficulty levels, an appealing interface, a variety of game modes including multiplayer, customizable weapons and ability configurations, a good length, high replay value, cute dialogue, likable characters, beautifully crafted levels, and fun gameplay that should be appreciated both in long and short play-sessions.

Wow. That's a lot of good things. How is it that this game hasn't got everyone foaming at the 3DS-game-deprived mouth? 1 thing: the controls.

The controls of Kid Icarus: Uprising are really the only thing that keeps the game from perfection. Stay with me here as I describe them.

You have two different sections of every mission: Air and Ground. The air sections are on rails, so your flight path is taken care of for you, but dodging enemy fire is your own responsibility. Use the Circle Pad to dodge and move. Great. Shoot and attack with the L button. Strange that attack is not A, B, X, or Y, but whatever. Fine. Circle Pad and L. Now aim by sliding your stylus on the touch-screen- an action that uses up the entirety of your right hand. While on the ground, everything is the same, but camera is controlled by flicking the touch screen, much like how you would spin a globe to rotate it, and you use the circle pad to move through the levels as you would in a typical action game.

Basically, in order to really aim effectively with your right hand on the touch screen, you must hold your heavy 3DS in your left hand alone. This can be uncomfortable. And dumb. It really does take away from the experience. Everything offered in Kid Icarus: Uprising is crafted with extreme attention to detail and with mastery of game design in general, but the hand-fatiguing controls will inhibit you from playing more than one or two levels at a time.

DISCLAIMER: the controls can be changed in order for aiming to be performed with the ABXY buttons, but while this is way more comfortable, it is slower, less accurate, and less responsive.

The controls are disabling enough to warrant considerable score reductions for Uprising, but they do not make this game bad. Kid Icarus: Uprising is still a fantastic shooter overflowing with Nintendo charm, but it is nearly impossible to play for long stretches of time, which is a huge bummer. When a game is this good, it is disappointing and frustrating to have it physically hurt to play. Still, during the moments without discomfort, I argue that Uprising is a masterpiece. Simply put, it is a hard sell: if you can get past being unable to play this title for more than 30 minutes at a time, you'll love it; if you're looking for something to relax with and play for hours and hours on, say, a long car ride, Uprising is not for you.

Pokemon Shuffle - Shuffle the Monsters

Pokemon Shuffle- Nintendo 3DS

Pokemon Shuffle, released on February 18, 2015, is a free-to-play download-only title on the Nintendo 3DS; right in this first sentence is everything you need to know before you download it: it's free, it's a Pokemon-themed game, and it is for the 3DS. There's really no excuse not to own it.

Of course, Pokemon Shuffle is not a traditional Pokemon RPG, rather it is a puzzle game similar to and arguably as addicting as Candy Crush (as long as Pokemon appeal to you more than candy does). 

Pokemon Shuffle is broken up into puzzle-levels themed after different Pokemon. The Pokemon you are "battling" in each level appears on the top screen of your 3DS, while a grid of adorable Pokemon-face images will appear on the bottom screen. Your task is to rearrange the Pokemon faces in the grid to make rows of at least 3, if not 4 or 5, matching images. Once each row is forged, it disappears, damage is inflicted on the opposing Pokemon, and the disappeared Pokemon images are replaced with new ones. Each level is completed once the Pokemon you are battling has its HP reduced to zero.

What sets Shuffle apart from similar titles, such as Bejeweled or the aforementioned Candy Crush, is how the traditional rules of Pokemon are re-imagined and integrated into the Poke-puzzle interpretation of the classic JRPG. Though this game is played by creating rows of matching Pokemon images, the goal is still to inflict damage on the opposing Pokemon, just like how it is in the RPGs. While there are no familiar Pokemon moves to be executed in Pokemon Shuffle, type match-ups do play a huge roll in defeating each Pocket Monster. 

The Pokemon that actually appear on the puzzle grid are yours to choose right from the beginning of the game. After each Pokemon you encounter is defeated, you get a chance to capture it- if you complete a level without using up all of your available moves, your chance of catching the opposing Pokemon will increase significantly. Once you capture a Pokemon, you are permitted to select that Pokemon to use in later battles. Matching Pokemon with a type-advantage over the Pokemon you are trying to defeat will do double-damage onto your opponent the same way it does in the Pokemon RPGs. 

However for all that makes Pokemon Shuffle unique, there are some pretty frustrating cons that come as a result of the game being free-to-play. For example, you only get a certain number of attempts to play each level before you are forced to wait an arbitrary real-world 30 minutes, after which you are allowed to resume playing. You have the option to pay real-world currency for the time limit to be removed, but the game really isn't addicting enough to convince me to pay for additional tries. Moreover, power-ups that make completing levels easier can be purchased with coins earned by completing puzzles. Then, you are awarded with 500 coins every time you "Check In" to see the latest Pokemon Shuffle offers by connecting to the internet, but you can only check in once per day- these are the only two ways of getting coins, thus getting power-ups. This has put me in frustrating positions where my lack of power-ups and my inability to earn coins other than by checking in for several days in a row renders me unable to get past more challenging levels. Of course, there is an option to pay real-world money for power-ups.

Despite these few minor drawbacks, Pokemon Shuffle is perfectly suited for the 3DS. Everything from its art-style to its price (once again, free) is begging for you to download it and give it a shot. At its best, Pokemon Shuffle is a charming puzzle game easily accessible to fans of both Pokemon and puzzle games; at its worst, it will easily grant you the means to kill time if you've simply nothing else to play. 

Pokemon Shuffle

Pokemon Shuffle- Nintendo 3DS

Pokemon Shuffle, released on February 18, 2015, is a free-to-play download-only title on the Nintendo 3DS; right in this first sentence is everything you need to know before you download it: it's free, it's a Pokemon-themed game, and it is for the 3DS. There's really no excuse not to own it.

Of course, Pokemon Shuffle is not a traditional Pokemon RPG, rather it is a puzzle game similar to and arguably as addicting as Candy Crush (as long as Pokemon appeal to you more than candy does). 

Pokemon Shuffle is broken up into puzzle-levels themed after different Pokemon. The Pokemon you are "battling" in each level appears on the top screen of your 3DS, while a grid of adorable Pokemon-face images will appear on the bottom screen. Your task is to rearrange the Pokemon faces in the grid to make rows of at least 3, if not 4 or 5, matching images. Once each row is forged, it disappears, damage is inflicted on the opposing Pokemon, and the disappeared Pokemon images are replaced with new ones. Each level is completed once the Pokemon you are battling has its HP reduced to zero.

What sets Shuffle apart from similar titles, such as Bejeweled or the aforementioned Candy Crush, is how the traditional rules of Pokemon are re-imagined and integrated into the Poke-puzzle interpretation of the classic JRPG. Though this game is played by creating rows of matching Pokemon images, the goal is still to inflict damage on the opposing Pokemon, just like how it is in the RPGs. While there are no familiar Pokemon moves to be executed in Pokemon Shuffle, type match-ups do play a huge roll in defeating each Pocket Monster. 

The Pokemon that actually appear on the puzzle grid are yours to choose right from the beginning of the game. After each Pokemon you encounter is defeated, you get a chance to capture it- if you complete a level without using up all of your available moves, your chance of catching the opposing Pokemon will increase significantly. Once you capture a Pokemon, you are permitted to select that Pokemon to use in later battles. Matching Pokemon with a type-advantage over the Pokemon you are trying to defeat will do double-damage onto your opponent the same way it does in the Pokemon RPGs. 

However for all that makes Pokemon Shuffle unique, there are some pretty frustrating cons that come as a result of the game being free-to-play. For example, you only get a certain number of attempts to play each level before you are forced to wait an arbitrary real-world 30 minutes, after which you are allowed to resume playing. You have the option to pay real-world currency for the time limit to be removed, but the game really isn't addicting enough to convince me to pay for additional tries. Moreover, power-ups that make completing levels easier can be purchased with coins earned by completing puzzles. Then, you are awarded with 500 coins every time you "Check In" to see the latest Pokemon Shuffle offers by connecting to the internet, but you can only check in once per day- these are the only two ways of getting coins, thus getting power-ups. This has put me in frustrating positions where my lack of power-ups and my inability to earn coins other than by checking in for several days in a row renders me unable to get past more challenging levels. Of course, there is an option to pay real-world money for power-ups.

Despite these few minor drawbacks, Pokemon Shuffle is perfectly suited for the 3DS. Everything from its art-style to its price (once again, free) is begging for you to download it and give it a shot. At its best, Pokemon Shuffle is a charming puzzle game easily accessible to fans of both Pokemon and puzzle games; at its worst, it will easily grant you the means to kill time if you've simply nothing else to play. 

Mega Man II

As a member of the Long Island Retro Video Game community, I constantly find myself surrounded by older gamers discussing the glory of their older games. Many of these veteran gamers I know grew up on the Nintendo Entertainment System the same way I grew up on the Gamecube. I have spent a lot of time discussing why Gamecube games are still a fun option for the gamer with nothing else to play, but what about the titles my fellow retro gamers grew up on? What about the classics?

Mega Man II originally released for the Nintendo Entertainment System on December 24, 1988 (24th? REALLY? Hahahahahahahahaha). This game is considered not only to be one of the best games sold on the console, but one of the best action games of all time.
Already we have a problem.

This game came out almost 30 years ago and I still hear people praising it for its quality. I encourage thee to realize, when discussing games, that there is an enormous difference between a title that is perfect, a title that is perfect considering its age, and a title that actually stands the test of time. Having never played Mega Man II before, I decided to investigate; is this game actually good, or does nostalgia play too big of a factor when discussing Mega Man II?

Mega Man II - NES/ Nintendo 3DS

Okay no need to dance around this: Mega Man II is fantastic. It totally stands the test of time. Which is awesome! Because that means that the opinion of older gamers is still valuable to us young-punk gamers who think we know everything about what makes a good game.

The magic of Mega Man II comes in the form of variety. MMII is broken up into 10 levels, each with a different tactical and aesthetic theme. Not only do each of the 10 levels feature different colors, enemies, and music, but they each demand totally different playing strategies. At the end of each of the 5-8 minute (if you die as often as I do) levels, is a boss fight. None of the bosses are too hard, though they certainly provide a fair challenge. Once each boss is defeated, Mega Man gains a new ability, usually a new offensive or tactical weapon. Essentially, the more bosses you defeat, the stronger you become.

The most remarkable aspect of this collection of levels is that the player is free to attempt each one in any order they desire. That being said, there are definitely recommended level sequences. You see, each boss you defeat earns you a specific new ability, and some levels are MUCH easier to complete after having been awarded certain specific abilities. So while the player is always free to choose which level they'd like to attempt next, they are also free to determine which weapons they need in order to progress through the game as easily as possible. To some extent, this results in a bit of trial-and-error playing, but it also encourages creativity that runs parallel to the nurturing of your Mega Man skillz.

This side-scrolling shooter/platformer is hard. But not too hard. It's also unfair. But not too unfair. Games of this time period had to be kept small due to hardware limitations, but they also had to have lasting appeal since there were fewer developers to pump out new games every week. An old game had to be kept small, but still last. How do you do that? Make it hard, but not so hard that it will keep people from playing it. Man, what a nightmarish challenge it must have been to get everything just right. Very few games balanced the equation perfectly, but Mega Man II did.

By the end of the 1-2 hour game, not only will Mega Man himself be equipped with a large assortment of different moves and weapons, but you, as the player, will have gained the cleverness needed to use them all when appropriate. The gradual acquisition of each new moves eases players into and out of a gaming experience for which they are required to master each of the title's nuances. Walking away from any game after having mastered the controls feels exhilarating, which is why it is extra sweet that Mega Man II seems to have been designed with this satisfaction in mind. In the end, Mega Man II comes so highly recommended because it leaves the player with the feeling of mastery, fluency, and unrivaled satisfaction.

Nintendo Direct 11/12/15

Earlier this evening, Nintendo streamed the first Nintendo Direct presentation we have seen since the passing of former Nintendo of Japan President Satoru Iwata. The following is everything discussed during said presentation in order, along with some brief thoughts:

The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess HD Remake coming to WiiU -

Twilight Princess is my favorite LoZ game, so I am excited to know that many gamers will be picking it up to play again. That being said, the footage of the game showed during the Nintendo Direct looked underwhelming. I had a very hard time identifying the differences between the original version and the HD footage, not to mention the fact that those near 10 year old models haven't aged as well as they did in Wind Waker. It'll be fine, since it's Zelda, but we'll have to see about this one. 

Zelda WiiU- 

Literally all they said was that it was still happening.

New Pokemon Mystery Dungeon for the 3DS- 

Take it or leave it. I left it. 

New Splatoon stages/weapons/gear/etc.- 

Indifferent. The game is amazing with or without new additions, so either way is fine by me.

Super Mario Maker App-

Apparently, a new PC and mobile devices app is going to be released in order to introduce a more efficient way of searching for user-made stages worth playing in Super Mario Maker. lol

Animal Crossing Amiibo Festival-

Take it or leave it. I bloody left it. They also mentioned a couple of Animal Crossing Amiibo, but I feel like that craze has passed.

Mario Tennis Ultra Smash-

Release date- Nov 20. Demonstrated a few of the new moves in the game. If you're into it, you should be pleased; if not, skip.

Xenoblade Chronicles X- 

Xenoblade Chronicles X

Release date: Dec 3. Kind of just reminded us that it was coming out...again. It looks really good, but nothing new to report.

Nintendo Badges- 

God, I can't even remember. I think it is a free-to-start 3DS game that contributes to an ability to unlock new themes for the 3DS Home Screen. 

Pokemon Picross- 

Another Pokemon-themed puzzle game for the 3DS. Pokemon shuffle is really good, but I don't need another Pokepuzzle game, personally.

Steamworld Heist-

A tactical 2D strategy game. It kind of looks like a 2D Codename S.T.E.A.M. It looks pretty good to me. I'll keep my eye on it.

Fast Racing Neo-

Didn't look as good as what I would want a new F-Zero game to be, but I'll keep my eye on it.

Typoman-

Apparently, the WiiU gamepad makes Typoman
 noteworthy and intuitive

Puzzle platformer that uses the manipulation of letters in words to affect what that word does in the game. It looks artsy and unique; I'll be sure to keep my eye on this as well, especially since I can sense that it will be inexpensive upon release.

Pokken Tournament- 

Nothing really new to report, but it looks really fun. I'll probably get it soon after it launches.

Star Fox Zero-

Release date- Apr 22. Doesn't look any better or worse than it has been looking in past trailers. I'm curious about how this game will do.

Mario and Luigi / Paper Mario crossover game- 

Looks to be a combination of Paper Mario and the Mario & Luigi games. It's not hard to imagine since the games feature almost identical gameplay.

Final Fantasy Explorers- 

Release date- Jan 26. Looks alright. First FF game on the 3DS. Should be worth keeping an eye on.

FE Fates Bundle includes all 3 games, 3DS
 drawstring pouch, and an artbook for $80

Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright/ Conquest/ Revelation-  

Release date: Feb 19th. Looks really good. Dunno how I feel about the story being spread across multiple games, but an $80 bundle for all 3 titles is being released, and tbh, that's not the worst deal.

Pokemon Red, Blue, Yellow on 3DS eshop- 

Release date- Feb 27th. Can't find anything to complain about here, unless you already own the games. At least having them on the 3DS will relieve you of the stress of having that old internal battery wear out on you. I'm curious to see how much they will cost.

Hyrule Warrior Legends-

Release date- March 25. Take it or leave it. Didn't look too bad to me, but redundant if you've played the Wii U version

Dragon Question VII- 

If you're into DQ, I don't see why you wouldn't be happy.

Cloud Strife in Super Smash Bros.- 

I'm stoked. No release date, but an awesome choice. 

http://www.ign.com/articles/2015/11/12/final-fantasy-7s-cloud-coming-to-super-smash-bros-wii-u-3ds Check it out here. 

All in all, there should be something here for everyone. I'm excited, but more importantly, I'm pleased. 

Kingdom Hearts

Since its creation, I have used this blog exclusively to discuss games published for or released on Nintendo consoles. Never before today have I written about a series whose most popular titles were released on consoles other than those made by Nintendo, but today is no ordinary day.

Every once in a while, my scouring of Google, IGN forums, Youtube, and Gamestop discount bins leads me to a game or series that forces me to redefine myself as a gamer. When I was 11, I played The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and would proceed to incorporate my love for that game into my description of myself as a gamer for the next 10 years. Later, I would discover my favorite game of all time, The Last Story, a game about which I have never extensively written. Most recently, I have added to my collection of self-redefining games Kingdom Hearts. Over the summer, after coming to the sad realization that I have played quite literally nearly every single Gamecube and Wii game I have had interest in, I acquired a Playstation 2. My flourishing love for quality RPGs produced an itch that could not be scratched by the Gamecube, so I decided to finally try my hand at a series that I had watched capture the hearts of some of my friends and millions of gamers everywhere: Kingdom Hearts. 

The Kingdom Hearts Series So Far 

There are seven main installments in the Kingdom Hearts series, and in order of release date, they are listed as follows:

Kingdom Hearts (originally PS2)

Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories (originally GBA; re-released on PS2) 

Kingdom Hearts II (originally PS2)

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days (Nintendo DS)

Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep (PSP)

Kingdom Hearts Coded (originally on Japanese mobile devices; re-released on Nintendo DS) 

Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance (Nintendo 3DS)

Most people don't realize that the majority of this series actually is released on Nintendo handhelds, but I suppose marketing has gotten the best of this series with regards to that information. Gamers expect their JRPGs to be on proper consoles, and without a T.V. in front of them and a controller-in-hand, it can appear as though the hand-held side-stories of the Kingdom Hearts lore lack legitimacy, though this is entirely untrue. This series rose to fame thanks largely to its popularity on the Playstation 2, and without that symmetrical controller to comfort those who first played the series when it began over 10 years ago, it can be easy to forget that Kingdom Hearts games are released on handheld devices often, with new installments of impressive quality and scale for us to enjoy being made every few years.

I have not finished all 7 Kingdom Hearts titles yet, though I intend to. I have finished the first 4 aforementioned titles, and am making my way through re:Coded as I wait for my friend to lend me his PSP so I can begin Birth By Sleep. Despite my having not completed the series so far, Kingdom Hearts has left an impression on me by which I am profoundly inspired and moved. 

Initially, Kingdom Hearts tells the story of Sora, a boy who decides with his friends Riku and Kairi that they wish to see everything the world has to offer, even if it means leaving their peaceful and quiet life on Destiny Island behind. The night before the three friends plan to sail away from their home, a supernatural storm tears their island apart and engulfs its ruins in darkness. The three friends are then cast to different corners of a universe comprised mostly of famous Disney worlds, and are left to spend the rest of the game exploring each Disney world, searching for each other. We play as Sora, who with his new friends Disney's Goofy and Donald Duck, eventually finds both Riku and Kaira, but not before learning that his adventure to new worlds is part of a much, much bigger story to be explained and experienced through the subsequent games. 

My friends insisted that if I were to become genuinely interested in playing any Kingdom Hearts game, to play the titles in order of their release date despite moderately aged and worn gameplay seen in some of the older games, lest my enjoyment of the series be diminished by my failure to appreciate the links between each game with regards to story. Playing each game in this order produces what can seem like a massively convoluted story often leaving the player wondering if certain details were meant to be enigmatic, or if those same details were simply lost in the blitzkrieg of lore presented by each game. Following each nuance of each twist throughout the series can be difficult at times, but those who pay attention and follow the story closely are rewarded with a masterfully crafted narrative currently contending for the top spot on my fake list of best video game stories ever. 

Though the gameplay of Kingdom Hearts and all of its sequels is fun and varied enough, this franchise is here to tell a story filled with exceptionally realistic and convincing characters, plot-twists that have at times relieved me of my ability to keep my bottom jaw attached to my top, and the battle between inner demons and our purest, most divine inner strengths. 

While extensively abundant, the characters of Kingdom Hearts all contribute to a story that describes the battle of good vs. evil within ourselves. The message of Kingdom Hearts, while told in a fantasy setting, is very real, especially to me. The ever-growing struggle between Sora, a warrior chosen to symbolize hope, and Riku, a warrior symbolizing darkness while struggling with his own inner-turmoil, teaches that there is no extinguishing of light or dark within the world nor within ourselves; rather that the coexistence of both is necessary to achieve inner peace, but the light can be as powerful as the darkness is seductive, and without a careful balance between the two, we can lose ourselves, and fail in protecting those we love. 

This isn't really much of a review as it is an article appreciating good poetry in video games. There can be beauty in this young art, and certain games seek to expose that. In order to realize the true value of video games, we must be attentive enough to see the beauty in this art when it exists, and though typically, it can be that games demonstrating such beauty only appear once in a long while, there is never an excuse to miss a game that demonstrates this element as perfectly as it is by Kingdom Hearts.

Power sleeps within you-
if you give it form, it will give you strength. 

Gunman Clive

My experience with Gunman Clive started as one of those rare times when I actually purchase a game on a friend's recommendation. Shout out to my friend Andrew for suggesting this one to me. The game's price of $2 on the Nintendo 3DS E-shop was also a large contributor of why I went ahead and bought it. Turns out it was worth all 200 pennies, because Gunman Clive is actually pretty damn great, so let's talk about it.

Gunman Clive - Nintendo 3DS

Intro / Summary
     Gunman Clive is a side-scrolling shooter platformer that combines the best platforming elements from Rayman Origins with the best shooting elements from Mega Man II. You move from the left side of the screen to the right side of the screen shooting anything that is A) alive, and B) isn't you. Complete each level by jumping on platforms, climbing ladders and trying not to die as much as you are totally going to die. There are 20 levels each taking about 75 seconds to complete if you don't die, and something around 3 minutes each if you die as often as I did. All together I beat the game in about 65 minutes on a long car ride my band and I took from Long Island to Washington D.C. last week, and I did continue to play it on a harder difficulty once the game was beaten which believe it or not is something I don't normally do. The fact that I took the time to replay this game immediately after having beaten it means the game was either too short, or the game was really fun to play; I am going with the latter on the grounds that I feel a game can really only be too short if you paid $20+ for it, and beat it in 65 minutes- Once again, this game cost me $2, so I consider myself to have gotten exactly what I paid for, and I was pretty down with it.

Good Things: Also the title of a great Reel Big Fish song
     One of the first things to be noticed about Gunman Clive is the visual style and the musical score; both are beautiful. The game employs a visual effect that makes it appear to have been hand-drawn frame by frame, complimenting the game's ol' western style. Gunman Clive looks like the music video for A-ha's Take On Me meets an old western film. Swag-tastic.
    Gunman Clive prizes itself on the classic easy-to-play, hard-to-master technique. All you are able to do in the game is jump, walk, and shoot, but the level design is so clever that even these old-school moves won't get boring before you finish the game. The game is pretty tough, being at about "diamond" on a hard-scale from Vanilla pudding to Dwayne "the rock" Johnson, but it is never frustrating because of a combination of different video game staples being removed from Gunman Clive. First, there are no lives in the game, which means no Game Overs. Live are outdated and dumb for reasons that have been discussed infinitely by gamers who aren't me, so if you need an explanation on that, go somewhere else and come back. No lives in Gunman Clive. Without any lives, checkpoints aren't really necessary either, because the threat of being thrown back to the start of a 55 second level in which dying has no penalty really isn't that scary, so those are removed as well, which would only be frustrating if the levels were long, but they are not. The game presents a challenge intense enough to make sure that it won't be completed in 20 minutes, but it is not so unfair that it frustrates the player. I believe "sweet-spot" is the proper term here, but I've always found that term to be suggestive (made worse by the pink-colored text), much like how utilization of the word "moist" suddenly begins to make me feel sticky out o....sorry, lost my train of thought there. Difficulty curve is just right.


The game has a very modest length. Games these days (or at least the ones I have been playing) have the most aggravating tendency to last about 6 hours longer than the amount of time for which I care to play them. I always think it is rather cocky of a game to assume that I will refuse to quit playing if it gets boring just because I'm already 10 hours in and I might as well finish it. Well, those games are fucking wrong, and they're the games out of which I take the most pleasure in ripping apart. Gunman Clive, like I said, is only about an hour long if you only play through it once. Honestly, the fact that this game is so good, while being so short makes me fear that the developers lost confidence during development and in the voice of an insecure 13 year old mumbled at some point "aw shucks, no one is gonna wanna play this game!", so they made the game an hour long assuming that no one would ever want to play it for more than an hour any way. Now don't get me wrong, I am glad that the game was only an hour long because it means I have more time to play other games, but honestly, this may be the first time ever where I wish a game was longer, but perhaps only by or hour or so. Also, you can play as a duck after beating the game once. This mode is called "Duck Mode" and it makes me giggle.

Short-Comings: "Homecoming" is a great Green Day song that sounds similar to "Short-Comings".
          Hmm...the game is short...but like...that is a good thing when playing simple games...I mean, Pac-Man is a great game, but does anyone want to play that for more than 20 minutes? I got nothing for short-comings. Gunman Clive is a great game, and it is so short that it ends before fucking anything up. So I am going to use this space to quote something profound I read on Kotaku: "The longer a game is, the more it has to justify its length." OR a different quote by Ben Yahtzee Croshaw of Zero Puntuation: "Madworld is a 6-8 hour game with enough unique ideas to fill a 3 hour game." I isolate these points because they have to do with length, which is a HUGE fucking problem with games nowadays. To all game developers everywhere: If you only have enough good ideas to keep me entertained for 5 hours, then your game should be 5 hours long. BAM. That's all folks. Gunman Clive has enough unique ideas to keep me REALLY satisfied (another sticky phrase) for 1 hour, and so the game is 1 hour long. And for that, Gunman Clive, you get my virtual glad-hand.

                                                                                                 Conclusion:

This game is $2 and is one of the best games I have played in a long time. You can beat it in a single lunch break and get right back to playing Super Smash Bros. afterwards, so just do it. I'm serious. I know I am just a computer, but seriously, buy this game and play it. Recommended to everyone.

Gotta Go Fast

This is review is going to be written in what I think is the ideal format - no numbers, no bullshit.

The other day, I was in Gamestop looking for something cheap that could hold me over until Smash Bros comes out on Friday. I just bought a brand new Limited Edition Smash Bros 3DS XL and I didn't want it to sit there while I tried to amuse myself with some outdated Wii games for the next week so after almost no consideration, and almost completely impulsively, I decided to try out Sonic & All Stars Racing Transformed for the 3DS. 

Sonic & All Stars Racing Transformed - Nintendo 3DS 

Intro + Summary



Branching paths lead to the same end, but allow access to unlockables.

Although the idea of Sonic the Hedgehog, who can canonically run at the speed of sound, driving a car that tops out at 120 mph was originally offensive to me, turns out that I think Sonic & All Stars Racing Transformed is actually a pretty damn good game. I was seriously surprised. This cross-over racing game features 25 of SEGA's most famous or likable (which ever comes first) characters, of whom you might know 7 - this is totally not a bad thing, I'm just pointing it out. As of now, I only have about 12 characters unlocked, and I actually know about 10 of them, but only because I am kind of a video game buff. Anyway, single player features the racing-game-staple Grand Prix, where you race across 4 tracks and earn points based on your performance in each race individually, which get added up at the end with whomever having the most points being the grand wiener. I honestly have only done a couple of Grand Prix races because the game also features a totally separate Career mode. Career mode starts with a single challenge. You select the challenge and difficulty for the challenge. If you complete the challenge, you unlock the next challenge, rinse and repeat. Career mode = beat all of the challenges. I dumbed that down for simplicity's sake, especially since I am going to put a fucking picture right here, which will effectively obsolesce any wordy description, but it's definitely worth noting that each challenge features a different track, and different objective within the challenge. Sometimes you just have to place 1st in a race, other times you have to complete 1 lap within a certain amount of time, etc. Branching paths in the career mode challenge selection screen will allow you access to secondary objectives whose completion will award you with new characters and collectibles. Finally, EXP will be gained by the character you choose before each challenge should you complete it successfully. Every time a character levels-up, you unlock a "Mod Pack" for that character. Mod Packs allow you to select the same character, but apply different set of stats for his/her car. About to race on a track with a lot of turns? Use the handling Mod Pack. 

Good Things

I thought this game was going to be a blatant Mario Kart rip-off. It's not. It IS another mascot, kart-racing game though, a bit redundant in a genre dominated by the famous Italian plumber. However, there are certainly enough distinguishable features in Sonic & All Stars Racing Transformed for it to earn a solid A for effort, and maybe even a little bit more. S&ASRT features extremely fun, bright and colorful track designs inspired by SEGA's most famous games of which you probably know more than you think you do, some of them being Sonic the Hedgehog, Monkey Ball, Crazy Taxi, Golden Axe, Nights, Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg, and Skies of Arcadia. The main attraction to this game is that even though each race features 3 laps on a track, the track changes (or transforms) each time you complete a single lap, offering track variety out the ass, and you can bet that same ass that when the track transforms, your vehicle transforms! The word "Transformed" in the game's title refers to the transformations made by your vehicle when racing. Driving on a boardwalk that suddenly gives out? Your car will turn into a boat! And does the river you're now trying to traverse give way to an enormous waterfall? Boat --> Airplane. Not every track uses all 3 forms of vehicle, but when your vehicle does transform, it is totally appropriate, feels good, and is really fucking fun. The Career mode is particularly effective in making me want to play more. I don't always have time for 1 more Grand Prix in Mario Kart, but another 4 minute challenge is seldom an issue with my personal schedule. Items in Sonic Racing are also fun and balanced. If You want to win in this Kart Racing game, you need more skills behind the wheel than you need Red Shells. I can truly say that no item in this game feels copied from Mario Kart (I didn't mean to spend this review comparing this game to Mario Kart, but I KNOW that's what you're doing so I'm just responding to how I know you're responding). The Career mode isn't too long, but earning the maximum amount of stars for each challenge means that you'll have to complete each challenge on HARD mode, as opposed to Easy or Normal, which is not an easy feat. You can only unlock certain characters by obtaining a certain number of stars, so although the Career Mode itself is a bit on the shorter side, obtaining every star to unlock every character will probably satisfy any need to play a medium-lengthed game. Finally, the 3DS's bottom screen is used to display an over-head live racing map. Having it on the bottom screen is nice, obviously because it doesn't obstruct the racing-action. It's also handy because occasionally the "track" during the boat or flying sections can be a tiny bit ambiguous, so having a map when you're threatened to get lost is un-ironically the perfect solution. This is a fucking fun racing game. 

Short-Comings 

Sonic & All Stars Racing Transformed on the Nintendo 3DS doesn't suffer from any lag technically, but like, it runs at what feels like 15 frames per second. Keep in mind, this is a straight port of a game that was originally sold for XBOX 360 and PS3, as well as the Wii U. The game performs impressively after knowing that, but ONLY after knowing that. My eyes immediately felt the difference between playing Sonic & All Stars and playing the Smash Bros. demo, but I would be such a bitch if I didn't admit that I totally got used to the frame rate after playing for, like, 2 minutes. You get over it. Also. perhaps 3% of the time, I can't tell what is 10 feet ahead of me in the game, which wouldn't be a problem if we weren't discussing a racing game. Remember though, I said this happens rarely, although when it happens, it totally happens. Graphics are also a bit pixely, but again, nothing a determined gamer wouldn't be able to brush off. This game is also out, like I said, for the 360, PS3, and Wii U. I plan on buying it for the Wii U when I get home from school. I played the demo and the graphics were appropriately gorgeous, and now that I know the rest of the game is awesome, I am confident that the Wii U version will hold up. I am playing this game on the 3DS XL. I cannot imagine this game on the small screen of the standard 3DS, and when I do try to imagine it, I imagine, like, a nightmarish, nebulous, chaotic, vague image of like, 10 guys driving play-dough cars through a guillotine testing factory. Not sure - never played it on the standard 3DS. I could be wrong, but I could be totally right.  

To Whom Would I Recommend This Game?

Of the 2 viable kart racing games out there, Sonic & All Stars Racing Transformed is not definitely  the best one, but it could be. Though Sonic & All Stars Racing Transformed is hella fun, don't be surprised if you find yourself pondering this game asking yourself "Do I really need to play another Kart Racing game?" if you've already played Mario Kart 7 or 8. I admit though, I haven't played Mario Kart 7 and thanks to this game, I don't think I will anytime soon. I feel like the demand for kart racing games is strongest after not having played one for a long time. If you have played Mario Kart 7 or 8 recently, there is no pressure to play Sonic & All Stars Racing Transformed, but it is still a killer game. 

So to whom would I recommend this game? SEGA fans, die-hard kart racing fans, anyone who needs to play something on the 3DS and has already played all of its first party-titles (barring Mario Kart 7), and anyone who is opposed to playing this on a home console.