Time To Make Some Crazy Money!!! - Crazy Taxi

Crazy Taxi - Nintendo Gamecube

Crazy Taxi is one of those games you see almost everywhere. Whether it's taking its original 1999 form in an arcade, waiting to be downloaded on Steam, or enjoying life on any of the sixth generation consoles, Crazy Taxi is nothing less than a classic title screaming with personality. I find this game, with its dumb yellow box, at retro game shops and flea markets everywhere I go. Usually a single copy will be accompanied by a second and third and fourth just sitting on the shelf unwanted, bearing a humbling $5 price tag. I recently grabbed a copy to use its box to brighten up the aesthetics of my Gamecube collection, but instead I found myself hooked on burning rubber.

Even on consoles, Crazy Taxi still retains its arcade feel. Gameplay involves picking up and dropping off passengers on the streets of what appears to be an exaggerated, cartoon version of San Francisco. You are free to drive around the town, disobeying all traffic laws, flying over sidewalks and off of truck-beds, but time will quickly expire if you neglect to pick up pedestrians waiting for a taxi ride. Both taking on and unloading passengers will award you additional time, and the game ends when time runs out. That's pretty much it. The console version keeps track of your high scores, and as long as you're playing the "Arcade" or "Original" version of the game (selected on the main menu), achieving a respectable high score is all there is to it.

The console version also has a challenge mode. Challenge mode presents players with different scenarios, such as seeing how far you can launch off of a ramp, or how quickly you can escort a certain number of passengers. Gameplay stays pretty uniform no matter which mode you play, but challenge mode does its best to mix things up, sometimes successfully and other times just adding more of the same.

The best way to play Crazy Taxi (in my experience) is to put it on if you have 10 or 15 minutes to kill before you need to go to work or something. As many times as I have booted Crazy Taxi since I purchased it 3 days ago, I haven't yet played for more than 20 minutes at a time- this is not a game meant to be played for hours and hours at once. That being said, it is addictive and the punk-rock soundtrack featuring early hits by The Offspring is an excellent compliment to the fast-paced bad-ass attitude the game proudly demonstrates.

Don't get me wrong, Crazy Taxi isn't going to change anyone's life. But it is really fun and undoubtedly worth $5. I recommend this to anyone who is looking for something dumb to bust out at a party, or to anyone whose video game box collection is severally missing the color yellow.

Mega Man II

As a member of the Long Island Retro Video Game community, I constantly find myself surrounded by older gamers discussing the glory of their older games. Many of these veteran gamers I know grew up on the Nintendo Entertainment System the same way I grew up on the Gamecube. I have spent a lot of time discussing why Gamecube games are still a fun option for the gamer with nothing else to play, but what about the titles my fellow retro gamers grew up on? What about the classics?

Mega Man II originally released for the Nintendo Entertainment System on December 24, 1988 (24th? REALLY? Hahahahahahahahaha). This game is considered not only to be one of the best games sold on the console, but one of the best action games of all time.
Already we have a problem.

This game came out almost 30 years ago and I still hear people praising it for its quality. I encourage thee to realize, when discussing games, that there is an enormous difference between a title that is perfect, a title that is perfect considering its age, and a title that actually stands the test of time. Having never played Mega Man II before, I decided to investigate; is this game actually good, or does nostalgia play too big of a factor when discussing Mega Man II?

Mega Man II - NES/ Nintendo 3DS

Okay no need to dance around this: Mega Man II is fantastic. It totally stands the test of time. Which is awesome! Because that means that the opinion of older gamers is still valuable to us young-punk gamers who think we know everything about what makes a good game.

The magic of Mega Man II comes in the form of variety. MMII is broken up into 10 levels, each with a different tactical and aesthetic theme. Not only do each of the 10 levels feature different colors, enemies, and music, but they each demand totally different playing strategies. At the end of each of the 5-8 minute (if you die as often as I do) levels, is a boss fight. None of the bosses are too hard, though they certainly provide a fair challenge. Once each boss is defeated, Mega Man gains a new ability, usually a new offensive or tactical weapon. Essentially, the more bosses you defeat, the stronger you become.

The most remarkable aspect of this collection of levels is that the player is free to attempt each one in any order they desire. That being said, there are definitely recommended level sequences. You see, each boss you defeat earns you a specific new ability, and some levels are MUCH easier to complete after having been awarded certain specific abilities. So while the player is always free to choose which level they'd like to attempt next, they are also free to determine which weapons they need in order to progress through the game as easily as possible. To some extent, this results in a bit of trial-and-error playing, but it also encourages creativity that runs parallel to the nurturing of your Mega Man skillz.

This side-scrolling shooter/platformer is hard. But not too hard. It's also unfair. But not too unfair. Games of this time period had to be kept small due to hardware limitations, but they also had to have lasting appeal since there were fewer developers to pump out new games every week. An old game had to be kept small, but still last. How do you do that? Make it hard, but not so hard that it will keep people from playing it. Man, what a nightmarish challenge it must have been to get everything just right. Very few games balanced the equation perfectly, but Mega Man II did.

By the end of the 1-2 hour game, not only will Mega Man himself be equipped with a large assortment of different moves and weapons, but you, as the player, will have gained the cleverness needed to use them all when appropriate. The gradual acquisition of each new moves eases players into and out of a gaming experience for which they are required to master each of the title's nuances. Walking away from any game after having mastered the controls feels exhilarating, which is why it is extra sweet that Mega Man II seems to have been designed with this satisfaction in mind. In the end, Mega Man II comes so highly recommended because it leaves the player with the feeling of mastery, fluency, and unrivaled satisfaction.

Kingdom Hearts

Since its creation, I have used this blog exclusively to discuss games published for or released on Nintendo consoles. Never before today have I written about a series whose most popular titles were released on consoles other than those made by Nintendo, but today is no ordinary day.

Every once in a while, my scouring of Google, IGN forums, Youtube, and Gamestop discount bins leads me to a game or series that forces me to redefine myself as a gamer. When I was 11, I played The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and would proceed to incorporate my love for that game into my description of myself as a gamer for the next 10 years. Later, I would discover my favorite game of all time, The Last Story, a game about which I have never extensively written. Most recently, I have added to my collection of self-redefining games Kingdom Hearts. Over the summer, after coming to the sad realization that I have played quite literally nearly every single Gamecube and Wii game I have had interest in, I acquired a Playstation 2. My flourishing love for quality RPGs produced an itch that could not be scratched by the Gamecube, so I decided to finally try my hand at a series that I had watched capture the hearts of some of my friends and millions of gamers everywhere: Kingdom Hearts. 

The Kingdom Hearts Series So Far 

There are seven main installments in the Kingdom Hearts series, and in order of release date, they are listed as follows:

Kingdom Hearts (originally PS2)

Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories (originally GBA; re-released on PS2) 

Kingdom Hearts II (originally PS2)

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days (Nintendo DS)

Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep (PSP)

Kingdom Hearts Coded (originally on Japanese mobile devices; re-released on Nintendo DS) 

Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance (Nintendo 3DS)

Most people don't realize that the majority of this series actually is released on Nintendo handhelds, but I suppose marketing has gotten the best of this series with regards to that information. Gamers expect their JRPGs to be on proper consoles, and without a T.V. in front of them and a controller-in-hand, it can appear as though the hand-held side-stories of the Kingdom Hearts lore lack legitimacy, though this is entirely untrue. This series rose to fame thanks largely to its popularity on the Playstation 2, and without that symmetrical controller to comfort those who first played the series when it began over 10 years ago, it can be easy to forget that Kingdom Hearts games are released on handheld devices often, with new installments of impressive quality and scale for us to enjoy being made every few years.

I have not finished all 7 Kingdom Hearts titles yet, though I intend to. I have finished the first 4 aforementioned titles, and am making my way through re:Coded as I wait for my friend to lend me his PSP so I can begin Birth By Sleep. Despite my having not completed the series so far, Kingdom Hearts has left an impression on me by which I am profoundly inspired and moved. 

Initially, Kingdom Hearts tells the story of Sora, a boy who decides with his friends Riku and Kairi that they wish to see everything the world has to offer, even if it means leaving their peaceful and quiet life on Destiny Island behind. The night before the three friends plan to sail away from their home, a supernatural storm tears their island apart and engulfs its ruins in darkness. The three friends are then cast to different corners of a universe comprised mostly of famous Disney worlds, and are left to spend the rest of the game exploring each Disney world, searching for each other. We play as Sora, who with his new friends Disney's Goofy and Donald Duck, eventually finds both Riku and Kaira, but not before learning that his adventure to new worlds is part of a much, much bigger story to be explained and experienced through the subsequent games. 

My friends insisted that if I were to become genuinely interested in playing any Kingdom Hearts game, to play the titles in order of their release date despite moderately aged and worn gameplay seen in some of the older games, lest my enjoyment of the series be diminished by my failure to appreciate the links between each game with regards to story. Playing each game in this order produces what can seem like a massively convoluted story often leaving the player wondering if certain details were meant to be enigmatic, or if those same details were simply lost in the blitzkrieg of lore presented by each game. Following each nuance of each twist throughout the series can be difficult at times, but those who pay attention and follow the story closely are rewarded with a masterfully crafted narrative currently contending for the top spot on my fake list of best video game stories ever. 

Though the gameplay of Kingdom Hearts and all of its sequels is fun and varied enough, this franchise is here to tell a story filled with exceptionally realistic and convincing characters, plot-twists that have at times relieved me of my ability to keep my bottom jaw attached to my top, and the battle between inner demons and our purest, most divine inner strengths. 

While extensively abundant, the characters of Kingdom Hearts all contribute to a story that describes the battle of good vs. evil within ourselves. The message of Kingdom Hearts, while told in a fantasy setting, is very real, especially to me. The ever-growing struggle between Sora, a warrior chosen to symbolize hope, and Riku, a warrior symbolizing darkness while struggling with his own inner-turmoil, teaches that there is no extinguishing of light or dark within the world nor within ourselves; rather that the coexistence of both is necessary to achieve inner peace, but the light can be as powerful as the darkness is seductive, and without a careful balance between the two, we can lose ourselves, and fail in protecting those we love. 

This isn't really much of a review as it is an article appreciating good poetry in video games. There can be beauty in this young art, and certain games seek to expose that. In order to realize the true value of video games, we must be attentive enough to see the beauty in this art when it exists, and though typically, it can be that games demonstrating such beauty only appear once in a long while, there is never an excuse to miss a game that demonstrates this element as perfectly as it is by Kingdom Hearts.

Power sleeps within you-
if you give it form, it will give you strength. 

Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon

Apparently, some kind of undocumented planetary alignment is upon us, because lately I have played some video gameS that I actually rather loved. Yes, after a string of games that I decided (or decided for you) were sub par came and went, I stumbled upon a few older titles for the Nintendo Wii that I quite enjoyed. Today's game is my favorite kind of hidden gem as it is a game completely forsaken by the internet, and it allowed me to prove once again to myself that I, James, am the only person I can trust to be right about anything. So without further narcissism, I give thee Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon.

Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon - Nintendo Wii

     First off, has anybody ever fucking heard of this game? I sure as hell hadn't before I found it featured in this youtube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhl6Tn3Kf1c. Fragile Dreams is a...game. You see, I found Fragile Dreams to be a game containing elements from most genres of video games albeit with an extremely ambiguous core around which each element orbited. At its heart, I suppose it is an exploration game, but it was linear, which means you didn't really explore anything more than what was in front of you. There was combat, but no more than what was necessary. Fragile Dreams was entirely story driven in such a way that I actually referred to it as a "drama game" for about an hour and a half before remembering that I am an aspiring critic and I have to be careful about using my knowledge in such fields to say stupid garbage like that. Ultimately, Fragile Dreams boils down to a linear exploration experience with elements of survival horror, JRPG, stealth RPG, and action games. It is also very artsy with great graphics and music, and every single thing that is on the disc contributes to the game's carefully designed story driving the entire game.

Good Things
       Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon was another short game, clocking in at around 11
hours. I like shorter games because the longer a game is, the greater chance it has to become boring or fuck something up. Short games decrease their risk of becoming boring because they seldom overstay their welcome. It's like how the cool guy at the party stays cool because you only see HIM for a little bit before he leaves to have sex with twins or something, as opposed to the women who get to the party an hour before it starts and leave once they sense that everyone has been sick of them for 9 hours, if you'll excuse my misogyny. Fragile Dreams is a great example of a game whose story ends at the same time the original ideas do. 
      Now I guess I should talk about this story for a second, since it's the only reason to play this game. The first thing that happens when you start Fragile Dreams is you get told that the grandfather of Seto, the protagonist, just died. Like, JUST died. You also learn that Seto's grandfather was the only human that Seto has ever seen or known in his life. You then control Seto, wandering around his home for a bit before you find a note left by Seto's grandfather in which he tells Seto to seek this red tower in order to potentially find more "survivors". About two seconds after leaving his home, Seto accidentally startles a girl who upon being startled, falls, and blacks out long enough for Seto to approach her and touch her cheek to make sure she is still breathing (or something). The girl awakens upon being touched, and flees. Seto is then in shock because he has lived something like 14 years and has never seen another human being before. Fascinated by her, Seto spends the rest of the game seeking the girl instead of the red tower, although as you can imagine, the red tower eventually returns. Along the way, Seto meets a number of non-human characters, mostly androids, robots, or ghosts of humans who perished in the disaster that killed mostly everything and the game ends at the red tower with an explanation to and conclusion of the mystery of how the world got to its post-apocalyptic state.
   

Gameplay involves you walking from one location to the next while the story justifies your doing so. Seto wields both a flashlight and weapons to be found laying around. Of course though, this world has been destroyed which means the only things laying around for you to wield are sticks, pipes, and brooms of various varieties. Good news though: swings of your weapon are executed by pressing the A button instead of by swinging the Wii Remote. Weapons can break if the A button is spammed though, so timing your combos properly is essential, and although it seems annoying and arbitrary at first, you come to love it once you accept that you can't do anything to change it. Of course, with broken weapons comes an inventory system, which is the same as that found in Resident Evil 4.
     The flashlight illuminates the dark path that lays before you while also stunning enemies. Flashlight, intuitively, is controlled by pointing the Wii Remote to the location you wish to illuminate. Using different types of flashlights will make hidden messages scrawled on the walls of the subways, hotels, and sewage pipes you navigate appear, and most of them when accompanied by the low piano scores played in the game, are pretty unnerving.
      Killing enemies will increase your max strength in a basic level-up system, and a crawling system is implemented to get past certain enemies or obstacles, making stealth always a conceivable option in case you decide to become curious about what life would be like if you were an enormous pussy.
      Fragile Dreams also makes great use of the Wii technology without using the motion controls. The speaker in the Wii Remote can be used to receive information from other characters by pressing the Wii Remote up to your ear at any point while playing, and creepy laughter of little girls gets pumped through the controller's speaker when ever you're near a hidden enemy.
      Really, you're in this game for the characters. The gameplay is fun, as it is pretty freaky and upsetting sometimes, stimulating an emotional response from me, but the story and fondness for the characters is what will keep you coming back. The story also has great pace; as soon as one character leaves you, another comes to its place almost immediately. Also, the voice acting is stellar.
   
Short-Comings
     Most complaints about Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon regard the fact that the developers clearly cared more about the story than they did about the gameplay. According to professional reviewing companies, the story, while beautiful, overwhelmingly overpowers the bland gameplay. In response, I offer my opinion that the fight choreography in Toby McGuire's Spider-Man 2 overwhelmingly overpowers the personality of Mary Jane. Some aspects of some games are better off being pushed to the background in order to emphasize the game's strengths. In this case, the game's story shines more than it's gameplay does, so if you have a problem with a strong story being supported by average gameplay, then this game will not blow your mind the way it blew mine.

Conclusion
      Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon is a game for gamers who like a good story. This is a hardcore game simply because it is a hidden gem, even though it is an easy game. It tells a great 11 hour story, so I recommend this game to anyone who is interested in that. I don't recommend this game as much to people who NEED rich gameplay in order to be engaged, because you won't find it here.

Number 9 Favorite Gamecube Game

Number 9 spot!

Playground Series: This Shit Is Bananas

I've recently learned to stop apologizing. So EXCUSE my bitch ass for not posting for a bit.

P.N.03

Okay so you know how when a game comes out people are all like "wahhh imma go check IGN anf fuckong.. Gameinformersomeshit fuckin'...askn all ma frendzz an whatev see hoiw good the gmae is befo I spend moneuy err whatev" I say FUCK THAT. In order to know how good a game is, you have to play it yourself. And no game has taught me that lesson more thoroughly than P.N.03.

P.N.03 is a third-person shooter that gives off a classic arcade-like feel. You navigate through linear levels and just try to fucking kill everything in your path before they kill you. Once you reach the end of the level, you move on to the next level. The point of the game is to beat every level and once you do, you're expected to move onto the next difficulty. This game's concept is simple and during this day and age, it could appear to be outdated and stale. This game was reviewed poorly and was criticized for it's sloppy controls, small move-set, length, and gameplay. Well you know what I say? Wanna know what I think about these claims? I think FUCK. THAT. This game is AWESOME. It's so frustratingly difficult, but rewarding and even though it only takes you 2 hours to beat the story on Easy mode, it will take you a lot longer than 2 hours to earn the ultimate prize.

So we gotta talk about all the different aspects of the game that make it what it is. Like I said, P.N.03 is pretty much a level-based action game. You start in one "room", kill all of the enemies, then move onto the next room. Once you complete every room, the level ends and you are pushed to the next one. Easy right? NO. So first of all, what you need to understand in order to play this game is that even though, yes, it is a shooter, there is only 1 or 2 buttons that make you shoot. You got the A button, which unleashes the rage of your trusty Palm Shot, and different combinations of the D-pad buttons + A for your strongest attacks. Knowing when to use your 2 different shots is important but what is even more important is knowing that every other button, including, B, L, R, LL, RR, Z and Y are all different buttons that let you dodge in different ways. The point is that health and energy necessary to charge your strongest attacks is scarce and if you fuck up, the game is not going to forgive you. Every single bit of your health counts so the skill you need to master in order to beat this game is not shooting the enemies, rather it is dodging the enemies, because you better believe that if you're trying to kill these enemies, then they are trying to kill you.
 
Imagine each room is like a spacious, in-door paintball arena. There are sections of the room where you are out in the open, as well as sections where you can jump and duck behind things. Using the environment in order effectively avoid the enemy onslaught while picking off each enemy one by one is critical in order to beat, or even play this game. The incentive to avoiding every single bullet shot at you, in addition to not dying, is the fact that the game awards you a certain amount of points each time you complete a room, and then gives you a nice bonus each time you complete a level. Wow points? Like fuckin....Super Mario Bros. or some shit? Yeah points. Obviously, whenever someone hears the word "points", they think of older games. Points, and trying to achieve the greatest amount of them, is a personal goal. In Mario Bros, you aren't rewarded for getting a high score with some kinda fuckin power up or something, you were just supposed to feel good about getting more points than ya friends. P.N.03 tries to rekindle that desire to snag the most points and does it flawlessly.....not satisfied are you? Okay, you got me. P.N.03 does definitely give you incentive to earn points, but not in order to fulfill any video game goal, but to fulfill you sexual goals. Yup I said it. So lemme explain this shit. You see the points given to you at the end of each room and level is the currency in P.N.03. You can exchange the points you've earned in order to upgrade your suit, increase your health, or buy different suits. The specs of your suit, predictably, affect how quickly you are able to vanquish enemies during levels, thus making it easier for you to beat the game faster. The amount of points earned at the end of each room is determined by how quickly you completed the room, as well as how much damage you took. Then the bonus at the end of the level is determined by your average performance during each room. So where is the sex? Well what if I told you that the character you play as was a woman? What if I said she was curvy? and sexy? What if I said that while you're standing there idle on the screen, and pretty much whenever she is not jumping or rolling around, she is shaking her ass right in your face? What if I said that if you earned a fuckload of points over time, and purchased every suit, and upgraded every suit, and completed the game, that you would get the final suit: Vanessa in her underwear. Yeah I'm a fucking pig, whatever. It's funny! Think about it: the ultimate, final suit as a reward for beating the game, leaving no stone unturned and no enemy alive, is just porn. It's amazing and kicks the shit out of earning any Trophy nowadays.

This game has an insane learning curve, but it's not hard, it's just untraditional. I know when I used to play Halo 3 with my brother, I would head out and if I got shot, fucking, whatever I didn't care. You just run away, get your health back automatically and then you can go out and shoot again (I am not good at Halo). In P.N.03, if you just run out there and not give a shit, then you're gonna die in like, actually 5 seconds. You have to be stealthy and attentive. You have to learn how to use all of your different dodging techniques in order to avoid fucking EVERYTHING. I remember I definitely just ran out into the open field first thing when I turned on this game and I got pwned. I looked at the screen and I was like "...ffffuckn whaaa??" So I reconsidered my strategy, and learned how to play the game the right way. Ultimately, the fact that this shooter was so different than anything I had ever played before gave me confidence in games that try to teach an old dog new tricks. Not every game can do it, but some, very few, can. And among those games that successfully tackle familiar game genres in untraditional ways is, in my opinion, P.N.03.